Updated: May 13, 2021
I am so excited you guys are here. Welcome to my blog Nourishment for the Soul! I am originally from Kapolei, HI but my journey in life has brought me to the Midwest. I know what you’re thinking, "how the heck did she end up in the midwest from HI!?". Well, if you saw the amount of kids from Hawaii that attend Creighton University, than me telling you I am living in the midwest wouldn’t seem as farfetched as it sounds!
That brings me to my next story, which is why this blog even exists! I recently decided to create Nourishment for the Soul because of the many conversations that I have been having surrounding the topics of depression, anxiety and burnout. All of these conversations started after I shared in a social media post revealing my own struggles and personal journey with these and announcing that I would be taking a step away from my full time job as a Physical Therapist to pursue a passion project of mine, creating a baking company, while allowing myself time to heal.
I was shocked how many conversations were sparked from one post! All of these years I never shared what I was feeling because I was afraid. I had the assumptions that I was the alone in feeling this way and that if I shared, I would appear weak, be the "Debbie Downer", be a burden, and the list goes on. The conversations revealed the exact opposite. Although everyone has different journeys, so many of the conversations showed the same theme. We all felt these things but felt like we couldn't share it. Why?
I know for me, it has always been this underlying assumption that this is not normal. A lot of this stems from situations from young Re (that is my nickname) where trying to talk about it led to conversations in which I felt shameful for how I felt. I went to people for a safe place, and instead found nothing of that nature. I was met with questions about why I felt the way I did, or worse, being told to just "suck it up". As a result, I stopped sharing and I assumed that feeling the way I felt was not normal. I tried to get rid of these feelings by essentially running from them (not literally but figuratively). I stayed as busy as I possibly could, made sure not to put myself in positions where I would need to rely on anyone, took on every opportunity that came my way, never said no to things all with the end goal of trying to appease and quiet those feelings. I held a false notion that successful people and popular people don't have these feelings, they are people who have their shit together.. But let me tell you, ALL of that is bullshit! Do you know what ended up happening? I ended up crashing and burning because this lifestyle of running is just not sustainable.. if anything it only added gas to the fire of my burnout.
I think often times people might feel these ways but they don't talk about it...they just like the song from The Book of Mormon says "Turn it off...like a lightbulb". There tends to be a stigma surrounding these topics or even just mental health in general.
Social media definitely doesn't help. It often leaves us feeling isolated in regards to how we feel because all we see are the highlight reels of other peoples lives which further engraves the notion that us feeling the way we feel is not normal. We start to question who we are and what we are feeling. I definitely had the following assumptions about what being vulnerable would do to my reputation and relationships:
There is something wrong with me for feeling this way, no one else is feeling this way
If I want to appear strong, no one can know that I am struggling, strong women don’t need to rely on anyone
I want to talk about it, but don’t want to burden anyone
How could I possibly feel this way when I have so much going for me (good husband, good job, success in my career, home, good family, etc), maybe I am just being ungrateful for the opportunities that I have been given
If any of these thoughts are thoughts that you have also had, I want you to know you are not alone!
I never in a million years thought that I would ever be sitting on my front porch writing this first blog post or even ever being a business owner, let alone a business owner of nothing even related to what I went to school for. So that is why I created this blog. I hope that this blog can be a safe space for you to acknowledge what you are going through and know that you are not alone. You are normal and beautiful and needed just the way you are! Hugs to you, wherever you are in the world. I'll talk to you next Monday :)